The Heart of My Work

The heart of my work is with sexual trauma. Healing in this work takes time, consistency, patience, attention, and a growing trust between us.

What is Sexual Trauma?

When I say sexual trauma, I include a wide spectrum of experiences. This can include childhood experiences such as being sexualized by a caregiver, objectified, subjected to unwanted hugging or kissing, or rape. These memories are often fragmented, or hard to access, because of the ways our bodies and nervous systems protected us. Sexual trauma is complex, shockingly common, and its presence within families can create deep self-doubt when our truth was denied or covered up by those closest to us.

I also work with the impacts of objectification, compulsive pornography use, and cultural messages about sex that reduce our erotic selves to something small and distorted, rather than allowing us to be expansive and whole.

What is Somatic Sex Education?

Somatic Sex Education is an approach to sexual education that focuses on the integration of the mind, body, and emotions. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and experiencing sexuality not just as a cognitive or intellectual concept, but as a lived, embodied experience. Somatic Sex Education (SSE) recognizes that our bodies hold valuable information and wisdom about our erotic selves.

This work can support you to make informed choices and embrace pleasure in ways that align with your unique desires and values. It can be beneficial for folxs seeking to heal from sexual trauma, increase sexual confidence, enhance pleasure, address sexual concerns, or simply deepen understanding and experience of your own sexuality.

Here is an overview of what to expect:

  1. Setting Intentions: This includes establishing boundaries and addressing any hesitations or concerns you may have. Your voice and choice are central throughout.

  2. Professional Ethics: As a practitioner, I adhere to the ethical guidelines set forth by the Somatic Sex Educators Association.

  3. This is a great checklist for working with a Somatic Sex Educator on the website of the Somatic Sex Educators Association.

  4. It’s important to think about what your support system is, as well as growing into the possibility of developing one, whilst doing this work. Your support system might include humans (community, friends, partners, chosen family, therapists), connection to earth, plants, animals, rivers, mountains, and land (all the more than human), as well as other practises that support you.

My Approach and Background

While I draw on my training in Somatic Sex Education (SSE), my work has evolved into a unique, personalized approach. It integrates elements of SSE, my ongoing training in Somatic Experiencing (SE), my work as a massage therapist, and my own work with embodiment practices.

This integrated approach supports healing, pleasure, and self-discovery by connecting body, mind, and emotions, recognizing that our bodies hold valuable information and wisdom about our erotic selves.

How Trauma Lives in the Body

Sexual trauma often leaves holding patterns in the body - for example: the mouth, genitals, pelvic floor, and surrounding tissues. These patterns can persist for decades until the body feels safe enough to release them. Sometimes they ripple outward, showing up as scar tissue, tightness, or medical conditions affecting the pelvic area and beyond. 

How I Work with the Body

I begin with your internal relationship to your body. At first, this means no touch - simply noticing what is possible to feel with your own perception. Sometimes placing your own hand on your body can support this. 
This can be difficult, and so we work gently with the possibility that the body is a trustworthy compass and a safe place to rest in - to inhabit your body from within. Many people live partly outside of their bodies for good reasons of safety and survival, and discovering that it is possible to rest in the body, while also feeling the larger energetic field around us, can be a profound shift. Many clients also discover within themselves a place that feels whole and untouched by harm. Finding this place can build trust in the process. Along the way, feelings such as shame, anger, grief, disgust, or numbness may arise. We welcome them with care.

For folks who don’t live nearby, or who prefer to be in their own space for the process, much of this work can be done online. 

Touch is introduced gradually. We may work with layers of scar tissue, physical, energetic, or emotional. My approach is slower paced, for example, than pelvic floor physiotherapy. We move at the speed of your body’s “yes” and “no.” When emotions arise, we listen to them and work with the idea of not pushing through. 

Some Patterns I Have Witnessed

Many physical symptoms of sexual trauma are not well supported in medical systems. One example is Lichen sclerosus, a condition (in all genders) that can thicken and resorb the external mucosal skin and structure of the genitals. It says no in all the ways we couldn’t, or in the ways we did but were not listened to. I have also seen clients living with recurrent infections, pain, itching, or discomfort in their sexuality. These symptoms can also be a part of the ways the body may protect itself. Our work gently invites these places to soften when and if they are ready. 

Please note that I do not diagnose and that I will always suggest seeking advice from a medical professional for possible untreated conditions.

The ability to stay present with sensation and what our genitals are actually asking for is a large piece of this work. 

I work with the possibility of staying present to the body, and bringing in your own body wisdom to guide the work.

Commitment to the Process

This work is deep and requires time. I am currently only accepting new clients that are considering a commitment to regular sessions.

Thank you for your understanding.